The Obsession with Death

There have been a few deaths in the family and we shared these with Driti.
We wanted her to know of the dear ones we had lost. They were after all her great grand parents.
She's come to terms with the fact that death is inevitable. That grandparents pass away after a period of time.
But, that 'clear understanding' has also led to a lot of confusion and frustration at home. Mostly because she keeps killing me. Not physically, but theoretically.

"Mamma, when I turn 60 will you be dead?"
"Mamma, because you are getting old, will you die?"
"Mamma, are you going to the Doctor because you are going to die?"

"Driti, why do you keep killing me? Why do you want me to die?" I asked perplexed.
"I don't want you to die Mamma. And don't be silly, I have no weapons" Such a luke warm response.

She's freaking me out. At every step, she wants to know when I will die. Now, maybe this is fear of losing me (which I'd like to believe) or her mental calculation of the time she will actually gain her freedom.

Today, we were reading the Ramayana. In one particular scene, Rama is shown as saying "I can sacrifice my life for you father" to his father, Dasharatha and Driti immediately responded: "But Gods don't die"
"Yeah", I said. "It's just his way of saying that he can do anything for his father"

"I will take care of you forever till you die Mamma" was the next response. After a long story, and putting her to sleep for the seventeenth time, she came to our room - again.

"Mamma, why won't you let me sleep with you? I'll miss you when you die!"

Of all the death sentences she's bestowed upon me, this one is special I guess. She'll miss me. She's after all not waiting for my eventual death and her inevitable freedom - at least not today!

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