My Little Guddi

I went on a school tour today. This one is my 4th. Not a big number, but to me, it was overwhelming. While I was really interested in figuring out which school my child will be most comfortable in, I was growing anxious with every school visit, that my baby was growing up. 

Driti has been independent ever since she was a few months old. She didn't care if I was in the office, as long as there were people around her. She was closer to grown-ups first, now, she likes to be with kids her own age. I would well-up, and break into tears thinking about her. 

My first day in office meant 15 continuous calls to Mom-in-law, to figure out if Driti was doing OK. Ma stopped picking up the phone after that, and I rushed home only to be reprimanded for my 'weak' behavior. 

When we put her in day care after the matriarchs of the house left, I waited just outside in case she wanted me. After three hours, the care taker politely asked me to leave. 

When we moved here, I played the waiting game again, at her pre-school. She didn't know. She just always whined that I was coming too early to pick her up. 

That and all her first's were tear inducing. Except, her first time use of the 'potty'. That was liberating. 

Today, as I toured the school and looked at the Kindergarten class, my  baby felt so little in front of these really tall kids. "Will she adjust well here?" "Full day school?" She's been in full day care so that was a dumb question to myself, but who cares. I was reacting to my own emotions.

As I entered the cafeteria the principal was saying "Our kids are very disciplined. They line up and..." I could feel my eyes moisten up. My kid? Lining up? "They raise their hands to ask a question" she continued. My daughter would just keep screaming till she got your attention  I thought to myself. by rejon - This is clipart converted and broken apart that has been released into the public domain because the document says so, and its from NASA, a USA government agency. The publication is called "The Brain in Space:"

I don't know how her transition is going to be, but I hope it's a smooth one. I hope she makes friends but stays our little girl and doesn't roll her eyes with a 'Whatever', the way she did yesterday.  She was just like a 4 year old teenager. She had no idea what 'whatever' with the rolling eyes meant. Her friend did it, so she did it. But she's promised not to do that again and she better not find some other annoying habit now.

I hope she still lets me hug and kiss and cuddle her. I am not greedy or unrealistic. I just want to hug her for another 25 years or so. Right now, I am her hero, so she let's me. "Mamma, how do you know everything? Even my 'American' rhymes?" she asks so adorably. Very soon, she'll be talking to me about Calculus and I'll have to pass her over to her father or she might not come to me because "You won't know Mamma"

After the school tour, I was determined to mint in as much as I could, when she was still small. "Driti, come, let's listen to Patakha Guddi" I said, "You're Mamma's little Guddi right?" "No Mamma, let's listen to 'R-O-O-O-O-A-A-A-R'"
"What is that Driti?"
"Oh, it's an American song Mamma, you don't know it"

It's starting pretty early, right?

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