Thank you Pa

Today, I saw the latest episode of 'The Modern Family'  - The Party Crashers. I'm actually a big fan of sitcoms. I become faithful to anything that makes me laugh.  It's a tough task, so it is kind of a big deal that The Modern Family has made the cut. But, the surprising thing is, I did not laugh watching this episode - I cried. No no, not remembering my experiences through childbirth with D, but watching the interaction between Haley and Phil.

Haley's messing with her dad who, after she dropped out of college has become very strict with her. She dates a middle aged guy to spite her parents. Since Claire had had the exact same episode with her Dad, she tells Phil to ignore their daughter and she'll come around.

Phil tries his best but cannot just stand and watch when he feels his daughter is making a bad decision. So he chases after her, inspite of Claire asking him to stay back. While Haley and her boyfriend head out from the hospital, Phil rushes through the other elevator. In the meantime Haley comes back and rants at her mom that they just don't care about her anymore, and that they're very mean to her and don;t treat her like their kid anymore - all this while still holding the elevator door.

Phil comes back for the car keys and yells at Claire that he cannot let his child take off with any guy, let alone a middle aged jeans designer. He screams that he's still that caring dad that thinks no boy is good enough for his princess, oblivious to Haley's presence.

And Haley steps out of the elevator and hugs her confused Dad. I cried. I cried because I miss being my daddy's princess.  I miss being the kid who doesn't have to worry about anything. I miss being able to leave all my worries to my dad. I miss being pampered for no reason. I hate being a grown up. I'm lost at all the responsibilities that come with being a 'big girl',  a wife, a mom.

And then I realized  I did not give that hug to my Dad. I did not thank him for being my Knight through my life and I do not want to regret it.

Dearest Appa, 

I probably haven't told this to you before, but I really miss you guys here. I miss being Papa's little girl.

I miss being able to completely depend on you and not worry about a thing. My records, my report cards, even my pay checks- I just knew I could give them to you and rest assured that you would take care of them. 

I  wish I could turn the time back, and rest on your arm pa.  I just wish I could tell you so many thank yous for so many things you've done for us. 

Amma and you only get to hear what you've not done for us, and I really want to take this moment to let you know that I am indeed grateful for you for standing in that long queue to get me admitted in St Ann's, for letting me go on the trips from school although it may have been a financial crunch, for getting those Britannia glucose biscuits and giving them to Swe and me as soon as you got home so we're not famished till Ma came home, for saving your snack from office for us, if you knew we'd love them,  for letting us decide on what we want to do in life, for standing by me in my decisions, for being my wall, for believing in me and approving of my choice of husband and for being happy for me, for being with me when I had a baby of my own and supporting me through the new phase in my life, for loving her more than me - if that's possible. Above all, for being you. 

Love,

Vasu

Why Men Stink at Negotiations

Maybe an addendum to  'Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus', and adding fuel to this debate on Today.com, but this is definitely a place that brings out a stark contrast.

We women, master the art of bargaining, and working around problems from the get go. It's in the DNA. Men, need a straightforward solution, most of the times, and like all theories, this little one, also comes with exceptions.

When I tell Driti about the consequences of her action, she knows I'll follow through; and knock on wood, I haven't had to follow through a lot many times, simply because she listens to me.

Ady on the other hand, is the softer parent. He hates it that I'm behind her all the time, and admittedly so, so he tries to be the 'cool dad' and the 'my best friend -dad' kinda parent.

Just for one day, I let Ady have his way and getting through to his daughter. Mamma, had a vacation upstairs so to say. Within minutes, I heard loud clatter followed by Ady's screams. "Driti, why did you drop all your colors and books down? And why is the water spilled?"

"It fell Papa" came a nonchalant voice.
Ady must've started cleaning up, 'cause I heard another round of "Driti, I am cleaning, why are you dropping your sketch pens down?"
No answer.

So Ady decided to take things in his own hands. It was his work day, and he was working from home. This was his break time - he had 15 minutes to get back to his laptop. He was all dressed, so he could've as well decided to ditch his idea of working from home and go to office.

"Driti", he said "I will give you five minutes. If you don't pick up the mess you've made, I'll go to my office"
"I don't want you to go to office Papa"
"Ok, then clean up"
No movement in the direction of the mess. NO retribution and hence no picking up the sketches.
Ady did not know what to do, the five minutes were running over.
"Driti, do you want Papa to go to office?"
"No Papa", pat came the reply
"Then why are you not cleaning up? I'll go to office"
"You won't go Papa"
"Why do you think so?" he asked. How could she possibly know? " See, I am wearing my work clothes?"
"Yes Papa. But you're not wearing your shoes!"

The Case of the Missing Maamas

I am trying to feed Driti and she's dodging me as always.
"Driti, you know something?" I try to engage her. " When Sreeram Maama was small, he used to trouble kollu paati a lot"
"Really?" She's surprised somebody else also troubled the elders in the family.
"Yes. He always used to trouble Kollu paati. He never used to eat, and kollu paati used to run after him saying 'Saapadra, 'saapadra' and Sreeram Maama used to say, 'Naa sapada maaten po'"
Driti burst out laughing, gulping a few more spoons down. "Sreeram Maama was very naughty when he was a kid" I added.
"Like Vijay Maama?"
"No, Vijay Maama was very nice. He never troubled anybody. Even Roohi Maami?" Now I don't know about Roohi Maami, although I tend to believe that the answer was probably negative, but I erred on the side of caution - for myself ofcourse - so she doesn't draw from the actions of her predecessors. "No Driti, even Roohi Maami was very nice. She was not naughty"
"Then Arun Maama is also nice?"
"Yes. He is and he used to eat bananas everyday. That's why he's so strong and intelligent"
"Like me?"
"Yes. Take another bite now"
"Arun Maama, is Geeta Maami's husband? She also eats bananas?"
"Yes" I hope Geeta you do, if not, please start eating now.
"I have soooo many Maamas and Maamis?"
"Yes Driti. But there is no Siddu Maami?"
"No. Siddu Maami will come soon"
"She's in Makkayala Makkayala"
"Oh, you're talking about that Siddu Maama? No, even there, that Makkayala aunty is not your Maami. You can ask him when you meet"
"What is his mother's name?"
"Padma"
"No, she keeps calling me 'chellam?'"
"Oh ho.. you're confusing two Siddu Maamas.  You did not meet the Makkayala Siddu Maama,, you'll meet him in April when we go to visit him. The Nimmu Paati Siddu was in India"
"Yes. I like him. But if I have so many Maamas and Maamis, why are they not coming to meet me?"
Now I managed somehow - but you owe it to your niece. Why not?