Happy Birthday, Babe!

 

 

It was DD’s B-day yesterday. She’s growing too fast for my comfort. I didn’t plan anything for her birthday; she managed everything herself.

“DD, your brother has a birthday invite for his friend’s birthday on the 24^th.” I had mentioned it to her a month ago, to see how she’d respond. If I’m being honest, I wanted her to whine and complain that I would even ask such a question. The answer was that DS wouldn’t go. It was his big sister’s birthday after all!

“Sure,” she said. “I am guessing it’s in the morning or afternoon?”

“Yeah, afternoon.”

“Sure, he should go.”

“What about your birthday?”

“I haven’t planned anything for my birthday yet, and even so, I think I may plan something without a seven-year-old.”

“You’ll have your birthday without us? I have to take him to the party.”

“What about Papa?”

“I don’t know, he may be here, he’s still on the mend, from his ligament tear.”

“Hmm, that should work.”

“What?” I exclaimed.

“Mamma, if I plan anything it’ll likely be a movie and dinner. It’s going to be a musical. I know how you guys hate musicals. I may need Papa to take us to the movie theater because I am thinking of watching ‘Mean Girls,’ and here in Singapore it's 16+. I am not sure how strict they’re going to be. If they are, then Papa might need to be there.”

She was so clear in her thought process. But where’s the emotion? I was wondering to myself.

“We can definitely have dinner together. It doesn’t need to be on 24^th; it can also be on 23^rd, Saturday, so all of us can have a long night.”

She has thought of everything, yet she says she hasn’t thought of it,  I continued thinking.

Come 23^rd… “So, shall we go to an Escape Room?” she asked.

“Yay!” DS screamed.

“Yes!” Ady agreed.

“Sure” I agreed too.

“Let’s go to the Escape Room and to that Thai restaurant that we went to a couple weeks ago. I liked the Pad Thai there.”

“I don’t like Thai,” DS interrupted.

“Too bad, you had your birthday and got what you wanted. Now it’s mine, and I get what I want. Besides, Mamma feeds you at home before we go out, so you should be fine.”

DS began to whine, and I was so grateful to take care of him and convince him that today was “Dika’s Day.”

DD had organized a Mean Girls Birthday Theme in Pink and she decided to host a party at home. It was too much of a risk to go all the way to the theater only to be told they don’t meet the age criteria.

“Mamma, can you buy donuts for us? I’ll get the pizzas from across the street.”

“Happy to help.” And I meant it.

And that was her simple birthday. Her friends arrived, all stylish in pink. The girls had a movie night, donuts, pizzas, and non-stop singing.

I wasn’t stressed in the least, but I missed planning for my baby. “You’re missing being in control,” Ady said, as if on cue.

“I don’t know. I don’t know if it’s the planning or her owning everything that’s making me sad.”

“Not sad. Proud,” he corrected me. “Yeah, proud, but I feel her slipping away.”

“And that’s OK. As long as we’ve prepared her for it.”

“Hmmm…” I sighed.

I missed the princess, fairy birthday parties. I missed the joyful scream on seeing the Frozen cake. I missed her incessant demand for new dresses and tights. I missed the shopping for return gifts…which reminded me…

“DD, make sure….” I tried adding.

“Mamma, relax. I got this.” And she did.  

Happy Birthday, Sweetheart!

Image credit: ABP Cake shop

Of Assets and Libraries

-- Eavesdropped Conversation --

"I am actually an asset, papa" I heard DS tell Ady. 

"No son, you're a liability. We only spend on you, we don't get anything in return."

"But I came from mamma for free. You didn't buy me."

"Well, the doctor did charge to deliver you"

"Dika is a library, but I bring you so much joy."

"Yes you do, and so does Dika. Liability." 

"But I am more of an asset than she is. She just stays in her room."

"Both of you are... Libailities. We pay for everything you do, and you end up wasting everything we feed you."

"You should only give me what I like then" DS reasoned. 

"Yeah, I don't think only cereal is a healthy choice."

"You can't give us stuff we don't like, and then say we waste it."

"Well, that's what you get."

"Then you're making us waste, papa. You're forcing us to not be assets."

"No, we give you healthy food, so you can be healthy. You choose...junk."

The boys emerged from the room, and DS came running to me. 

"Mamma, don't I give you hugs, so many hugs and kisses?" DS was looking for an ally.

"Yes you do, my baby" I said. "You give the best hugs and kisses."

"So I am an asset" DS said. 

"Yes, you are" I agreed. 

"Your hugs and kisses are free. Like my hugs and kisses to you." Ady continued.

"What's happening?" I asked, feigning ignorance.

"Papa's telling me about assets and librarires, and he's calling me a library."

"Liability" I corrected. 

"Yes, Liability."

"Oh you're an asset, my child" I hugged him. "You give me so much happiness."

"See, Papa?" DS teased his dad. 

"Well, you make him eat his veggies now. You're such a liability" Ady dismissed me. 

"Library!" DS corrected him. 

Image Credit: https://easy-peasy.ai/ai-image-generator/images/cute-electronic-accounting-calculator-icon-3d-pop-illustration

The mania that is Swift!

DD has been a Swiftie since she knew music. She would belch out all her songs, and we’d keep wondering where she’s heard these, as our home is almost exclusive to Indian music. 

Hearing her sing with such passion, we got her her own Alexa, so she could listen to all her favorite songs.

We knew she was obsessed with Swift, because her room had more pictures of Taylor than of herself or us (wishful thinking of course.) She never really outgrew the ‘phase’.  

DS knows what his sister’s favorite song of the season is, but he doesn’t really like Taylor Swift. She sings ‘too slow’ to his taste. He likes funky numbers he can dance to.

So this weekend, when the Era’s Tour was here in Singapore, naturally DD had to go. The excitement was palpable. She went with her friend of course, but the amount of preparation that went in - making bracelets, posters, buying the right outfit...I don't remember the last time, I had prepared so much. Child birth, may be?

I learnt so much about the Swift Culture. ‘The Mother’ as she is called. I will be honest, when DD said, "I have two mothers, one that gave birth to me, one that brought me up", I was shattered. While she did quickly added that I was also bringing her up, when she saw my shocked face, the damage had already been done.

DD had to do some last-minute shopping, so we hit the mall. The entire trip was a revelation to me.

I saw two girls who had this huge tag saying “F*ck the Patriarchy.” Not knowing that’s their mother’s song, I gave the girls two huge thumbs up in support – you know, feminism and women sticking together?

“Swiftie!!” the girls cheered.

“What?” I asked DD. “That’s her song, ma. It is amazing. You should hear it. She doesn't only sing about her boyfriends", DD knew what I thought about her. "She sings so many things, about the love for her mother, her best friend's son, about LGBTQ rights."

I actually did have tears in my eyes at this point. What sounded like a teen fest, suddenly felt a lot deeper, more meaningful.

I saw girls helping each other with the beads for the bracelets, giving compliments to each other. I saw the passion with which they were all planning for the concert.

“She’s not just a singer, ‘ma”, DD explained to me. “Her songs are meaningful, and relatable. There’s something in each song, that will resonate with you.”

DD in general is a very happy kid, so seeing her all excited about the concert wasn’t really surprising to me, but it’s the camaraderie that the girls shared, the enthusiasm with which everyone flew down to Singapore from all over the world, in fact, a friend of ours flew down all the way from Seattle too, that was so heartwarming.

I may not be a Swiftie, but I sure appreciate what the singer is doing to bring everyone together, in a kind and empathetic way. “Swifties help each other,” DD explained to me. “It’s like an invisible bond.”

“Mamma, since I always hear Dika listening to Taylor Swift, is she my mother also?”

“NO!” I instantly reacted. “Only I am your mother.” And I held him close to me. “But she can be an aunt to you.”

Image credit: DD