Mixed Feelings

Losing a tooth is a big deal in my books. 

You're getting closer to adulthood, with your body parts being updated to adult parts, with a longer warranty. 

I've had a tough time dealing with DD's tooth loss, and I'm having a harder time dealing with DS's. 

While DD lost most her teeth in succession, DS is taking his time, which I love. 

"Mamma, Arit lost a tooth today", he told me excitedly once, when he came back from school. 

"Oh no!" I reacted, and yes, I reacted badly. 

"Why Mamma?"

"I..."

"Why oh no, Mamma?"

"Not oh no, I guess it's good, but it means, he's growing up. I don't know how I feel about you losing your tooth."

"But I am 6, I am a big boy."

"I know. But you're also my baby. Well, maybe I have mixed feelings."

"What are mixed feelings mamma?"

"I want you to grow up, but I want you to stay my baby."

"That is just silly mamma!" he chuckled. 

"I know, sweetie. I don't know how to feel."

And the fateful day arrived a week later. 

When I went to school to pick him up, his teacher met me at the door. "I think your son has something to tell you, and he knows how you will react." 

"What?"

She nodded at DS. 

"Mamma, I know you have mixed feelings, but I have mixed feelings about telling you too. 

I am excited that I lost my tooth, but I am a little sad that you have mixed feelings."

Oh my heart!

"I think I am more excited that you lost your tooth, babe", I lied and hugged him, never wanting to let go of my baby. 

Pic source: https://qcontent.co.uk/insights/marketers-mixed-emotions-facebook-emoji/

Gullible vs Street-smart

When DD lost her tooth, she left her tooth under her pillow for the Tooth Fairy to come and get it. 

I wrote such a lovely letter to her saying that the Tooth Fairy was proud of the choices she was making, and to take good care of her new tooth. 

DD would admit a few years later that she knew it was me. But she kept quiet because she wanted the moolah, that comes with a fallen tooth. "Tooth Fairy's cursive was eerily similar to your handwriting," she admitted. 

After she lost like 4 teeth, I told her that the Tooth Fairy only rewards for the top 4, but she insisted that each tooth was special and she needed to save it for the fairy. So that cost me quite a bit. 

With my little, it was much simpler. 

The first tooth, the Tooth Fairy wrote to him in a non-cursive hand-writing and gave him a dollar. He was way too excited and all the parents in the school were very happy with the Tooth Fairy too. 

The second tooth, I told him that we had a family tradition, that we dig the dirt, bury his tooth, and plant a sapling in its place, so you'll know with its growth, how long its been since you lost your tooth. To my surprise, he readily agreed.  He dug a hole and added his own tooth, and chose to fill it with an apple seed. 

I compared the way the two kids reacted to not getting money to DD and Ady, without a beat, she replied, "Mamma, there's gullible and there's street smart."

"He's got a sense of wonder and excitement about everything. I don't think he is gullible." I defended him. 

"You're right", she said. "He's very innocent. He's going to listen to everything you say in excitement and wonder."

"You think so?" I asked. 

"You know what, you are right!", she smiled, and looked at her dad. "*He* is not gullible." And the two of them burst out laughing. 

Pic source: https://linguosco.com/word-of-the-week-gullible/

He knows!

The last post was kind of a teaser to my current life. 

The warm embrace of the sister and brother, well, clearly that's what I'd like my social media to think my kids are like, but in reality, let's say 90% of the time, I play the referee, and the 10% that the loving hug happens, it melts my heart so much, that I begin to believe, time and again, that these two are just the perfect pair of siblings. 

So lets start where we left off, well, at least from whereever I can recollect. 

Clearly, I make amazing babies. If DD ran the house, DS is that sensitive soul, who can play you like a fiddle. 

From the time he could express his emotions, he's been absolutely free with them. He can burst into tears over anything. I think he takes it as a challenge to prove his tear ducts are solid. 

If you get mad at him for something he said or did, he'll hug you so tight with those big round tears falling down his cheeks that you instantly feel remorse for being upset with such a wonderful little kid. 

If you've built a thicker skin and know his tricks, he'll hug you hard and say "Tell me you're not mad at me. Tell me you're wrong for getting upset. It's bad to get upset. It's not OK," between his sobs and instant waterfall. 

"Why do you cry so much?" I ask him.

"So you won't be mad." Well, fairpoint. 

"How is it that when he cries, you immediately calm down, but when I cried, you didn't?" That's DD. 

"Well, he gets tears. Your crying was more of a whining."

"What's whining?" DS asked. 

"Well, it's all that you do, minus the tears," DD said. "And at a higher pitch" I added. 

He smiled. 

"Why are you smiling?" DD asked. 

"I know how to make Mamma stop getting mad, you still don't."

"Mom, did you hear that?" DD turned around to look at me. 

"DS! Why would..."

The dams were open again! That boy has the remote to my reactions. 

It's really unfair

 

Ok, It's been an exceptionally long hiatus. I have very many reasons for not having written, nah journal-ed DD's antics, but they are all, as I have come to realize, excuses. 

DD discovered my blog recently, and asked me a lot of questions about her childhood, and how she loves that she has a memory capsule to look back and learn more about herself and her upbringing. 

She was talking about a couple posts when DS walked in. Yes, DS is now in the picture, and no, not a toddler, but an elementary school going kid. "Mamma, there's nothing about lil bro, here", DD said.

"Well I did stop writing, way before DS was born."

"What's not there about me?" DS asked.

 "Well, Mamma had written a lot of stuff about when I was growing up, and now, when I read through, I know how it was liking growing up through her eyes. But there isn't anything about you."

Thank you, Darling. 

"Why is there nothing about me, Mamma? Why didn't you write anything about me?"

A 100 excuses ran through my head, but looking at those big wide eyes, I didn't have the heart to make one up. 

"I'm sorry, babe."

"Why? All of a sudden?", I looked at DD. "How did you even discover this blog?"

 "He's my brother, and not to forget, another of your offspring!"

 Tears flowed down. "It's not fair. You can't only write about Dika... why won't you write about me?"

"Well, sweetheart, I will."

Image credit: https://clipart-library.com/clipart/big-sister-cliparts-23.htm